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Hi. I'm here finally speaking about my own problems. What did I do so wrong to be treated like this. Why do I have to locked up . Why do I have friends who dont even respect me. Why must I have insomnia which kills me. Why must I have social anxiety. Why must I distance myself from others. I'm up to the point which I want to be away from people and I dont even want to see people. Why do people laugh at me because I'm fat. Why do people laugh at me just because I'm a little different. Why do I have to be treated differently? I'm still part of the society. Everytime I get on the bus, people stare at me differently. They eye me , head to toe. That's just painful. I'm not perfect. I may not look as pretty or I may not be even at the average but I still dont deserve to be looked down at. I dont deserve all of that. I don't need people to tell me that I'm ugly, fat or whatever shit. You only judge me from your own perspective but what about mine? Did you ever think about what other challenges I may face? Did you ever think about how I would feel? Did you all think that I'm just a dog that would follow all of your instructions? I'm a human being too. I dont deserve to be treated like a trash being passed on from on person to the another. I dont deserve to be treated like a spare tyre. I really hate the fact that people look down on me? What? Just because I'm not as smart ? Did you have to rub it in my face? Was it fun to make me feel smaller than you? Was it fun laughing behind my back? It's hard enough not getting enough love from my family and everything is making it worse. I dont even have time for myself. I have insomnia. This shit doesnt get better easily. It took me MONTHS or almost a year to finally get enough sleep. But its back. Do you suffer from this? Do you know how it feels not getting sleep at all for a week? Do you know how it feels to get only a few hours of sleep for the entire week and then you have to go to school put up with judgemental people then going back home to clean the entire house and do homework and study and you have to get critised from you own blood. I'm really sick of it. Its a daily routine. She says that she doesnt want me to feel that she is toturing me. Yet she does. She says she would help me and make my life not miserable. Yet she did. She said that she loved me. I dont believe her.
Now I think you all should know why you shouldnt disturb me in the morning in school. I told you. I warned you. I said that if you disturb me, I'm gonna be really pissed and be annoyed at you for the entire week. I told you, I already said it. I said that I dont have much sleep or energy to do anything.
Please dont step over the line. I still have my temper. Nobody has seen it yet. None of my friends did because I dont want to. My bad temper got me nowhere.
I didn't relatively do well in my studies because of my temper. Nobody really wanted me as their friend because of that. But now, when I try my best to hold it in, everyone takes advantage of it. I know when people use me and my friends tell me I should step up or whatever. I'm thankful that you're looking out for me but at the same time, I know what to do. I dont want people to keep the fire burning in me. I still think that , yeah you can use me. But you'll get your own punishment soon. Karma will come for you. and there is a saying. Giving is better than receiving. So , if you expect people to give you after you gave them, you're not sincere at all. And i hope people like you fall down the stairs and break your arm, so you'll realise. Right now, my life seems so lonely and I feel like its so annoying. But I have hope that it will get better.

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2015!!
✓ Lose weight
✓ Get straight As and Bs
✓ Be attentive in School
✓ Make my family happy.
✓ Have a new motto for 2015
✓ Lastly, don't go out with friends too much. (: