Can you guys not?

I regret calling you "friends" i regret doing every single thing with you. Fine.. Now you got them , you all forget everything. 

Ya la... They're more popular. Who cares about me right? Unpopular, not rich , dumb. IF I LIE ABOUT BEING MYSELF, YOU GUYS ASK ME TO BE MYSELF . IF I BE MYSELF , YOU GUYS TALK BEHIND MY BACK AND STILL HATE ME. KORANG NAK APE SIA? I WASTED  MY TIME FOR THIS KIND OF FRIENDS. NOT EVEN A YEAR , YOU GUYS FOUND TROUBLE WITH LOADS OF PEOPLE. YOU GUYS LIKE FIGHTING SO MUCH EH. BO LIAO AH? NOTHING TO DO?

Fight with so many people. Think you're perfect is it? Fuck that. I want YOU to take a freaking piece of mirror and poke your eye with it.

I think if i start cutting myself, you say what ? Attention seeker. 

I don't want to go to school anymore. Notice how i always skip school? Its CAUSE of YOU all. Because i know if i go to school, I'll end up crying at the end of the day before i go to sleep. I'm hated at home, hated at school. Where else can i go? Biased parents comparing me to my other siblings . And at school, Biased friends comparing me to popular ones. You keep saying what? People don't understand me.. But have you ever understood others? NEVER. So quit being so selfish. Probably if i kill myself , you all will just look at me and say, fuck that attention seeker. I hope she goes to hell. You know what ? I think this world doesn't need me anymore. No one needs me. So who would care if I died ?

-Syahirah -.-

My Life - My SO-CALLED "friends".

MY so-called "friends"

You guys were never there for me when i needed help. Only Mei Yun, Celest, Naddyyyyyy , Sheryl and Carmen .

What ? Just because i'm fucking quiet and "don't know" how to fight back you guys can just throw me away and just use me ? OH FUCK THAT. I just don't fight back because I still have respect for fucking humans. I don't freaking treat people like shits . I treat people all equally. I keep my feelings deep inside me. But one day, ONE FUCKING DAY, i'll shoot up all my feelings towards all of you. 

Deep down in me , I feel like punching you and make you bleed. YES, most of my secondary school friends don't know this, when i'm angry , i'm fucking violent . I can make your hand bleed . Doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy. 

YOU ALL look at me like as if i owed you a million bucks.

WTF I'm fucking poor. I swear alot. I'm human. I make mistakes. So fuck that and deal with it.

So if you have a damn problem with me , don't act shy and face to face with me dumbass instead of bullshitting about me and holding grudges towards me.

Sometimes I wish I could make you miserable. Ignore me ? Fine, who cares? I still got others like Naddy.

Hate me? Who cares? You're still talking about me and it's not my problem i'm like this.

Holding grudges towards me? Fucking tell me and we'll settle down.

Think i'm annoying, don't talk to me then.

Think you're better than me? Shut your trap and listen to yourself. No one is better than the other.

So fucking eat make up materials before you start bullshitting about others. You're ONLY 13. I'm 13 too. I know I swear alot. I'm trying to work on it. I'm trying to become a better friend. When you needed help, the ones you called "true friends" NEVER even bother to say sorry or comfort you. INSTEAD WHAT ? go eat sushi buy cakes and go stare at guys. what the fuck does that make you feel any better? When you have problems , I'm the fucking only one you'll find. I'm not saying i'm a good friend. But instead of finding your "true friends" , you'll find me or the others that you throw away. THE NEXT TIME YOU FIND ME, I'm just gonna tell ya to fucking fix it yourself. It's your fucking life. I dont fucking care about you anymore. Things have happened. Suck it up. This is called life. What ? Get alot of money. Don't care about money or parents. Think of yourself too high. Might as well just sit at home and complain about everything right ?

Banyak cakap sia. You get what I mean? I'm gonna say this once and for all, doesn't mean you're richer or smarter nor prettier it doesn't mean you're always better on the inside.

-Syahirah xx